Hilarious (mildly odd)

      One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out.

      When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne.

      The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."

      So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.

      Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed.

      The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"

      The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
      This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
      years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

      The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

      Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
      and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
      doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

      The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

      She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
      back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

      Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
      the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

      The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
      laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

      About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
      bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

      She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
      and I didn't listen to you.

      "What do you mean?" asked his wife.

      "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.
      An American goes into a bar and sits down next to an English guy.

      The American notices that the English guy has a huge BIC Lighter.

      The American says, "Wow cool lighter, where did you get it?"

      The english guy says, "A genie granted me one wish when I rubbed this bottle".

      "Wow", says the American, "Can I have a go?"

      "Sure", Says the Englishman.

      The american rubs the bottle and the genie comes out, "You have one wish" Says the genie.

      The American wishes for a million bucks, the genie grants the wish.

      About 5 minutes later a load of ducks come into the bar, there are thousands of them.

      The American says "I don't believe this I wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks".

      The englishman says "Well do you really think i wished for a 12 inch BIC?"