Random jokes

      1. A woman at the bank told me to check her balance, so i pushed her over
      2.I never wanted to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when i got home, all the signs were there
      3. i'd kill for a Nobel peace prize
      4. what's red and bad for your teeth? A. a brick
      5. where does the general keep his armies? A. in his sleevies
      6. what stops the elephant from charging? A. you take away his credit card!
      7. what do you do when your teacher is staggering? A. you shoot him again
      8. Did you hear about the new French tank?
      Yeah, It has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
      9.why don't blind people sky dive? A. it scares the crap out of their dogs
      10. what do you call a man with two bananas in his ears? A. anything. He can't hear you :)



      add more and i'll make jokes off those :)
      MAKE IT HILARIOUS :lol:
      Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master.
      For this reason mastery depends of all of one person.

      - Albert Einstein
      whats big, has a weird shape, and will destroy the town if you even touch it?
      an atom bomb :)
      Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master.
      For this reason mastery depends of all of one person.

      - Albert Einstein
      my new segment for my random jokes is holiday theme. it will come up every time around a holiday. now time for jokes!


      Holiday Theme: Halloween

      1. What is a mummy's favorite type of music?
      Rap music.
      2. What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
      The trombone.
      3. Why didn't Dracula have any friends?
      He was a pain in the neck!
      4. What does tweety bird say at Halloween?
      "Twick or tweet."
      5. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
      "Spook when you're spooken to."
      6. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
      A mop.
      7. What did the jack-o'-lantern say to the other jack-o'-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?
      "Let's get glowing."
      8 .What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?
      The actors get stage fright.
      9. Frankenstein and Dracula had a match. Who won?
      Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks!
      10. Why doesn't a witch wear a flat hat?
      Because there's no point in it!


      p.s. Did you know that a vampires favorite ice cream is veinilla. And did you that a ghost with a broken leg is called a "Hoblin Goblin."

      you make more and i'll build it off of those :D
      make it HILARIOUS :lol:
      Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master.
      For this reason mastery depends of all of one person.

      - Albert Einstein
      Holiday theme: thanksgiving


      1. Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
      Because they never learned good table manners!

      2. After Thanksgiving dinner was finished, Mort saw his little brother Sid in the backyard, poking holes in the dirt and filling them in with birdseed."Why are you planting birdseed?" Mort asked.
      "I'm growing next year's turkey," Sid replied.

      3. Hear about the turkey that evaded the Indian?
      It had an arrow escape.

      4. What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
      Puritan

      5.Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
      Because their belt buckles are on their hats!

      make more and i'll build off those :thumbsup:
      Make it HILARIOUS :D
      Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master.
      For this reason mastery depends of all of one person.

      - Albert Einstein
      Here is a thanksgiving joke.

      1. A hunter came out with his rifle, that he called "Old Baby". He was looking for a perfect prize, a big, plump, juicy turkey. So, soon he found something, big and plump. He shot at it and soon, to his suprise he got something he DIDN'T want: a fat woman.

      2. A pilgrim boy looked at his sister's note at Thanksgiving's day and this is what she wrote:

      Alas, I am off to go and plant the heart of a turkey,

      to see if it is true,

      to plant a turkey's heart,

      and to see if a tree with turkeys grow,

      so i can kill for the next feast.

      Soon, the boy facepalmed himself.

      That's all the jokes for now. Hope you liked these. ^^
      Classic is how I stayed in Minecraft as a beginner.
      I wish I can help and post, but I can't.
      Rescue Classic!
      -DestinyDPS12
      ok people ik i have not been on as much but at least iv'e come up with these jokes for u

      OF COURSE they r only for laughing porpoises only

      theme:
      play on words

      so u thought u could get rid of me and forkget me so spoon? WELL that's not knife.
      MAYBE u could throw me into a hole and put sand in it, but that's whisky.
      whale, i think if somebody did that, i might have a knight mare.
      but when u steal from me, i will always yell "that's mane!"
      I also used to be a baker, because I always kneaded bread.
      sew i think i'm almost done
      lettuce all have an ice day

      (IK this isn't the best, at least its gouda, and its cheddar than some of mane before)

      :D
      Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master.
      For this reason mastery depends of all of one person.

      - Albert Einstein
      nothing!? no replies or likes? these r real genuine yolks uk!? well uk wat im gonna see u ladel!
      Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master.
      For this reason mastery depends of all of one person.

      - Albert Einstein
      This is not something with words but at least its a random joke:

      Sarah: Hi, what are you playing? :D
      Toby: There's no time to explain (gaming face ---> :evil: )

      Sarah: Oh, ok tell me when you have time. ^^

      Toby: There's no time to explain :wacko:

      Sarah: You told me that already ?(

      Toby: It's THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!!!!! X(

      Sarah: Uhhh :|

      Toby: The game is called "There's no time to explain," :wacko:
      Classic is how I stayed in Minecraft as a beginner.
      I wish I can help and post, but I can't.
      Rescue Classic!
      -DestinyDPS12